Thursday, October 19, 2006

I am Despondent


Goodbye, little iPod. The last three years have been amazing. Though nothing can replace you and the good times we shared, a mere $249 is holding me back from a new, black video iPod. So long. Sniff.

Monday, September 25, 2006

We're All Homo...Sapiens.

I'm so happy to have "The Office" back on TV. Hooray for the return of Fall TV!

Nothing new to report--I was eaten alive by mosquitoes this weekend while we were down the shore, so I'm trying not to scratch all day. The giant nipple-sized one on my thigh is especially pleasant.

The other day we went to the dollar store, where I found this awesome toy. It currently sits atop my desk at work. Check it out:



You can take out the internal organs, rearrange them, and put them back! And they are flourescent colors! Here is a closeup:



Cool, right? There was even a frog version, but I liked the person better. I want to find or construct some clothes for him--maybe some Post-It shorts or a hat made from copy paper...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

So I guess you could say it's official...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Ew

I was thinking about a few things as I walked to work today. Here they are:

1. Leggings are a scourge on society. I realize that they are super trendy right now, but this woman on the train was wearing some that were black with bright Asian-esque designs that looked like tattoo designs. To top it off, they apparently had been washed so many times that the black background to the crazy design had that gray-white fuzz over it that occurs when you wash black too many times and it begins to fade.

Then another girl had the classic leggings with the fat strip of lace along the bottom. I loved those. When I wore them in third grade.



Seriously, how many more atrocious fashion trends must we be subjected to? I'm cool with giant belts, I'm down with retro-80s flourescent colors, I personally enjoy the gigantic sunglasses, but leggings? I don't think that we can sink any lower than that. Unless, of course, you wear the stirrups on the bottom. Shudder.

2. Look, Janet Jackson. You look good, ok? I realize that you lost a lot of weight and are sporting a kickass body right now. You are sexy, WE GET IT!!!!!! I walk past several newsstands in the morning, and have been visually assaulted by your boobs on several magazine covers. One features a strip of white tape as the only means of covering your nipples. Another one has you wearing a corset and clutching your exposed boobs in a "whoops, I'm so cute and sexy!! way. For reals, Janet (ok, "Miss Jackson," because I'm nasty) I don't want to see any more. Your fake boobs look like grapefruit halves stuck to your body! Please. I'm begging you. We all agree that you are sexy, JESUS! I was even going to post a picture of the cover of Vibe that you grace, but I'm not going to further your media assault. TAKE THAT, JANET!

3. Man, Crystal Light Fruit Punch is delicious. I've had two full pitchers of it in two days. On a slightly disturbing note, the wooden spoon I used to stir it is STILL RED. So all those chemicals and food colorings are inside my body! Probably sticking to my organs and turning them pink as well. But dang, it is so good.

4. Earth, Wind & Fire KICKS ASS. I listen to their songs and just want to dance and/or party.

5. Here is a hilarious picture from my visit to the NY Aquarium at Coney Island back in July. Make note of the fish in the bottom right-hand corner:

Monday, August 28, 2006

Oh my poor little blog. I neglect you so!

So this weekend was eventful. Some dude crashed into our car that was parked in our lot. He also somehow managed to squeeze his huge SUV between a utility pole and a concrete wall, and then smashed into the back of ours. Cops woke us up by ringing the doorbell at 2:30am. It was so out of a movie--a rainy night, cops ringing the doorbell in the middle of the night...I of course freaked out until I realized that nobody was hurt or anything.

Will and I took some pictures of the aftermath:


Hey! Here's Will, holding what's left of our tail light!


Smashy smash!



Shattered pieces...shattered lives.


At least the weekend ended on a good note: Will's parents came over, and Babs whipped up some gigantic meatballs and "Sunday Gravy!" The meatballs were the size of hamburgers, I swear. See for yourself:


YUM!

Oh, and just so you know--if you cut me, this is what I bleed:

Monday, August 07, 2006

Things I'm Enjoying Lately

A few things that have been bringing me pleasure lately:

1. Watching "Dog the Bounty Hunter." Will and I have become obsessed with watching this show. How can you not love a guy with hair like that? It has braids and feathers! All of his family is just so crazy and hilarious, and we love it. My favorite part when they apprehend someone is the "pep talk" Dog has with him/her in the car on the way to jail. "Ice will kill you, brah. This is your chance to make things right." It's very touching. And I plan to model all my future outfits after Beth's (the wife). She often wears this wrestling unitard with a bathing suit cover-up as an outfit, accentuating her gigantic rack. Those boobs are weapons!

2. A few weekends ago, I Naired Will's back. Don't worry, he gave me permission to blog about it. He has so much back hair...and chest and shoulder hair as well. He basically has a hair tank top. So I used a buzzer and thinned out the back hair and then used Nair on him. It all came off and he was silky smooth and lovely for about, oh, two days. Now he's all prickly and has a breakout on one shoulder. SEXY!

(I just did a Google image search for "Nair" and like 500 pictures of Indian doctors came up)

3. The East Coast heatwave is "over." Perhaps you've noticed that I used the quotes on that. That's because I'm STILL a sweaty-ass mess by the time I get to work every day! It's useless to even try to do my hair. Though it is still pretty hot out, I do have to admit that the current temperatures are a dream compared to how it was last week. My sister came to visit, and I could have sworn I was in hell as we walked all over Manhattan. We got on the train to head back to Jersey, and I could totally smell my sweaty self--I smelled like I had been to the gym. How hot is that?

4. I'm getting a new cell phone soon! People, if you are thinking of buying a Razr--DON'T!!! We haven't even had ours for a year, and it requires daily charging, even if I never talked on it all day. I'm getting a Sidekick next--it's a lot of phone, and I probably won't even use half the features, but I don't care. I justify it by saying that I'll catch up on email and stuff during the 30 minute train ride each morning/evening. We'll see. (Not likely).

5. Uhhh...I've enjoyed writing this blog entry! I have many pics to post, and once Will and I figure out what's wrong with our USB cord, I will post them. For instance, I captured the magic of Will's very first visit to a Wal-Mart. EXCITING, no?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Warning: Self-Involved Bridal Post

So let me preface this by saying that nothing stresses me out more than money. Or the lack of it, that is. Add this to trying to plan a wedding, even one so far off as March of 2008, an engaged couple who don't even have a savings account and the ridiculous cost of a wedding and you have me completely shutting down and freaking out about how on earth we are going to afford a wedding, even one that far away.

Will and I finally sat down (after several tries on his part and me getting all weird and silent about it) and made out a plan of the rough costs of the wedding. A very do-it-yourself wedding in my hometown, not a lot of frills or shit that The Knot or whatever tells you is absolutely crucial to having a good wedding. After trimming our guest list as much as I could (although not as ruthlessly as I could have) and adding up the costs of only the facility rental, food and drink, we came up with the lovely number of about $13,000. Not including clothing, rings, decorations, flowers, ANYTHING! So after having a mild heart attack and a couple days to think on it, I realized--I don't want a wedding. I know this will disappoint some who were banking on being a bridesmaid (I'm sorry, Diana!!!) but I just can't do it. Hemmoraging money for one stinkin' day, albeit a beautiful, fun, hilarious day, is something I can't bring myself to do. Never mind that it would take us a year and a half of painful saving to even pull it off. I just can't do it.

So here's what we decided. We're getting married on an island. On the beach. Barefoot, with only our parents and siblings there with us. And know what? The cost of our all-inclusive hotel stay plus the wedding ceremony and meal will cost half of the hometown wedding.

It came down to stress, really. I mean, spending a ton of cash on a wedding that would require tons of work, worry and organization just really pales in comparison to the thought of essentially a vacation where we show up, the wedding planner has taken care of everything, get fed and lay on the beach for several days. Sounds like heaven to me! I'm thinking of St. Lucia...anybody have any suggestions?